"internet relationships aren’t real" well neither is your hair color mom but you don’t see me talkin shit
at my wedding, I want 9 people dressed up as the members of the fellowship of the ring to attend and halfway through the vows they stand up and start arguing until the one dressed up as Frodo shouts “I will do it, I will take the ring to the bride!”
then it just falls silent as he slowly brings me the Ring of Power
*walks up to newborn baby* haha fuckin virgin
idk man it was inside a vagina more recently than you were
if a boy ever says “someone’s on their period” to u when ur angry that is literally code for “punch me in the balls” so don’t hesitate
Britney Spears blessing a paparazzi and forgiving him of his sins.